Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
