i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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