Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
