you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize