better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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