I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
