Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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