tell your sister to shave her snatch
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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