i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
