office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
