we're blogging at a bar
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
