and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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