What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
