Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
