I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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