when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
