U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
