but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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