Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
