oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
