I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
