I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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