we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
