this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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