So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
