My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize