I want to stick my p in your. b.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
