When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
