my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
