I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My liver is preforming stress tests.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
