Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
