She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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