so that wasnt chicken after all
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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