i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Success! We fucked roommates!
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