I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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