My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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