I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Who died my cat blue again?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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