She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I want a musical about memes.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
