Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I would fuck him just for his dog
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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