I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
