yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
