so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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