i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
