I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
