Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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