Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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