OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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