you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
