so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
