would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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