Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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