I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
