Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
