So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
