BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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