this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
