i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
