can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
