He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
