So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
