I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
