i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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